{ jenn powazek }

This is Jenn's old site. Her new site is located at powazek.com/jenn.

{ jenntrooper }
...in the ultimate search of what makes me happy in this lifetime.

10/01/2000 - 10/31/2000
11/01/2000 - 11/30/2000
12/01/2000 - 12/31/2000
01/01/2001 - 01/31/2001
02/01/2001 - 02/28/2001
03/01/2001 - 03/31/2001
04/01/2001 - 04/30/2001
05/01/2001 - 05/31/2001
06/01/2001 - 06/30/2001
07/01/2001 - 07/31/2001
08/01/2001 - 08/31/2001
09/01/2001 - 09/30/2001
10/01/2001 - 10/31/2001
11/01/2001 - 11/30/2001
12/01/2001 - 12/31/2001
01/01/2002 - 01/31/2002
02/01/2002 - 02/28/2002
03/01/2002 - 03/31/2002
04/01/2002 - 04/30/2002
05/01/2002 - 05/31/2002
06/01/2002 - 06/30/2002
07/01/2002 - 07/31/2002
08/01/2002 - 08/31/2002
09/01/2002 - 09/30/2002
10/01/2002 - 10/31/2002
11/01/2002 - 11/30/2002

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Thursday, October 31, 2002

Happy Halloween..... today, I am dressed as a dancer. This seems funny to me. Last year, I WAS a dancer, dressed up as Little Red Riding Hood. This year, I am an Account Manager dressed up as a dancer. Do you see the irony here....man, times really are a changin!
* 7:50 AM

Wednesday, October 30, 2002

Last weekend, I hosted a garage sale. I had all of this crap that I had to lug downstairs to the front of the apartment building.... which was a total pain in the ass. I took all of my clothes to Buffalo Exchange the week before, but my clothes weren't "trendy enough" so they hardly took any of it. They only took one shirt that was Bebe brand and one pair of shoes. What a drag.

Normally, when I've had garage sales, they were at my mom's house where you could go in and out of the house to get food, coffee, or take a bathroom break. Plus, it was my mom and I so we could take little breaks while the other one held down the fort. This experience was totally different. It was only me....the whole time! I ended up having to drag everything downstairs that I would need for the next five hours......along with my keyboard, lamp, and three bags of clothes and shoes.

So, down I went with a chair, coffee, magazine, book, cell phone, water, and lots-o-change. I was sitting out on the street, reading, for about an hour before my first visitor came by. My first visitor was a random Indian woman who picked up a few things without saying one word, and then left. I said "good morning" and "have a good day" but got no response back. I was a bit worried of how the rest of the day would go.

My second visitor was an older woman who lives across the street. She was a mom who was boasting about how amazing her daughter is and how her daughter would like some of my clothes and jewelry. She talked to me a long time about how you should treat your kids and talk to them with respect. How she has the best relationship with her kids because of the freedom and responsibilities she gives them. She really was inspirational to talk to. She told me about how her daughter is taking Karate and recently cut her hair really short and dyed it because her boyfriend dared her to. Her stories were funny. She ended up taking four shirts, three pairs of earrings, one ring, and two pairs of shoes (for herself!). Her total was $4.50.... she gave me a five dollar bill and told me to keep the change. She wished me good luck with my move and in the future.

My third visitor was an old man. He was kind of hard to understand.... he stuttered and skipped over some words. He was driving up and was going to park on the street, right in front of my sale. But, he rolled down the window and shouted "I'm not going to park there.... because I know what you are doing, girl." I smiled at him, not quite understanding where he was going with the whole "girl" thing. He drove down the street and backed into an available spot. I watched him get out of his car and walk towards me. I was a little nervous about what he may say to me..... but as he waddled closer, I saw he had something in his hand and was smiling.

When he got up to where I was sitting, he handed me a $10 bill and said, "This is for you". I quickly handed it back to him and said, "Oh, no. That's ok. I really can't take that." He pushed it right back at me and said, "Here.... go get an education. Go to UCLA... it's a really good school. Education is so important."

I am totally serious.....

He talked more about UCLA and what an amazing school it was... Even though I barely understood his words, I definitely understood his intentions. I thanked him profusely and watched him walk away..... smiling.

My fourth visitor was a Greek woman with her big fat pitbull. She looked at my keyboard and said "How much for the keyboard?"

"One hundred dollars", I said.

She told me that she needed to check with her husband and that she would be back. Before leaving, she gave my clothes a good once over... I figured I wouldn't see her again.

FIVE minutes later, the Greek woman and dog were back with the husband. He asked about how much the keyboard was and then proceeded to communicate with his wife in Greek. She kept pointing at different pieces of clothing and he would throw her the items. I kept watching the dog to make sure it didn't take a leak on all of my stuff. The next thing I know, she hands me a pile of clothes. I tell her $4.50.... she says something to the husband in Greek.... he says something back.... and then hands me $104.50 in cash! I swear..... I was so stoked. They picked up the stand and the keyboard and started to walk away. Suddenly, the husband turns around and says (with a thick Greek accent) "It works, yes?"

With a huge smile on my face, I answer "YES!"

My fifth visitor was a woman who said she lived down the street, however she seemed homeless. She had a back pack that she carried around with a bunch of stuff in it. She had a headband on, holding back her long light brown hair which had streaks of silver in it. She wore black rimmed sunglasses with red lenses that she still squinted behind. When she approached my area, I immediately said "good morning" which I had been saying to all of my customers. Immediately, she started conversation with me about how she was moving next week to Hesperia to move in with her "man". She informed me that she didn't have a lot to take with her but could always use new things for work. I wasn't sure what to think of this woman. She was kind of all over the place and couldn't really remain still or silent.... probably on something.

She sat down on the cement next to me and told me about her favorite store, Big Lots.... which used to be Pic N Save. Apparently, they sell some really cool stuff.... like, her favorite perfume which is called Heaven Sent. She took a bottle out of her bag and said that this was one of 12 bottles she bought. No one carried Heaven Sent besides Big Lots. She then proceeded to apply the perfume to her neck....talking about who knows what the whole time. After about ten minutes of applying, she then began pouring some of the bottle down her neck, behind her ears, and in her hair. I just kept watching and listening in awe. She talked about her weight, her age, her "man", her 72 year old roommate, more about the Big Lots store and the difference between the 99 Cent Store and the 98 Cent Store, the cream she uses on her face to keep her looking young, and how to lose weight. Finally, once half of the bottle was gone, she stopped. That's when she started going through my things. Now, by this time, it was almost noon. I knew I probably wasn't going to get that many customers after this one.... so, I told her to let me know what she wanted and I would tell her how much it all was. She grabbed two pairs of pants, four shirts, some earrings, and a sweatshirt. I told her to just take it all but she gave me two dollars. I wished her luck with her move and her "man"..... she wished the same to me.

It really was an interesting afternoon. I still have a bunch of stuff left over but by the end of the day, I felt like I had gained so much from my experience and the people I met, that the amount of money I made was suddenly less important.

Tonight, dinner with my dad..... tomorrow... Halloween!
* 3:38 PM

Wednesday, October 23, 2002

The times.... they are a changin'

SO, Jon and I are moving in together. We've been talking about it forever... but it was always way off in the distance. It was always a possibility rather than something that we both, equally wanted to do. As soon as we started talking about it seriously, we looked online just to see what was out there and ended up stumbling upon the most amazing place, here in Pasadena..... less than 5 minutes from where we work. It was an opportunity that we had to jump on. It is a two bedroom, huge place, with a living room the size of a bowling alley. We are really excited about it.

The feedback that I have received from family and friends has varied. Some were overly excited..... asking how they could help.... what we needed, etc. They focused on the positive side of it, saying that we've been together for a long time and this will be really good for us. Some were more focused on the way this will change the relationship... how this is a big step. How sometimes moving in together when you aren't married could be detrimental to a relationship and destroy it..... and how it won't be easy. Really? Wow, I didn't know that. (said with a sarcastic tone) I guess some people just have a hard time expressing their personal feelings about it and would rather talk about the what if's and the possibilities of bad things happening. That's ok. I understand where the fear and worry comes from. I'm not upset about it. I wasn't looking for approval for the first time. I was just wanting to share the news and my excitement about it.....which I did. I can't expect for everyone to be excited with me.

I've never lived with anyone besides a roommate before. In this relationship and past ones, I have always done the overnight....pack a bag, weekend thing. Having divorced parents, I was used to the packing part of it. But, that gets old after a while. You start forgetting things and not having what you need.... having to run back and forth....and in the end, wind up with 5 different toothbrushes, three of which you've only used twice.

I've already gotten some tips from friends who have attempted this. The tips were to have an open mind for changes (that one is really important), approach situations with care, be assertive with what you want, and continue to have your own life.....to do what you need or want to do rather than depending on someone else's schedule. These all make sense to me....depending on the situation. It will definitely be a new adventure but I am SO ready for it.
* 8:44 AM

Friday, October 18, 2002

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes...... things are a changin over here. Will disclose more info when all is finalized. Exciting stuff though.

Jon's mom got out of the hospital yesterday. YAY! She is doing really well, thank goodness. The surgery was successful. Hopefully the recovery process won't be too long.
* 2:23 PM

Wednesday, October 16, 2002

Just discovered this quote..... I really like it:

"To know someone here or there with whom you can feel there is understanding in spite of distances or thoughts expressed ~ That can make life a garden." -Goethe
* 9:19 AM

The wedding this last weekend was a lot of fun. It was on a boat that took a ride around the harbor after the ceremony. The ceremony itself was ok. I personally didn't like the judge. She was reading out of a folder that she was holding.... and would sometimes lose her place and pause while she found the right place to read. It seemed really insincere. The words she spoke were very Hallmark, very one dimensional..... I liked the fact that they wrote their own vows. That brought tears to my eyes. That was the most honest moment of the whole wedding.

I also like when the bride and groom do the unity candle. Symbolically, it is really touching and such a beautiful moment. They didn't do that.

The DJ they had scheduled cancelled last minute so they had some random guy. He sounded random.... wasn't very good.

Whatever..... it was a big party. The after party at the hotel was the best part though!

Today- thinking good thoughts for Leslie, Jon's mom. She is having surgery this morning on two herniated discs in her neck. She has been in a lot of pain for the last 6 months and is really looking forward to relieving the pain. We are praying that everything goes well today and she has a speedy recovery.
* 8:22 AM

Friday, October 11, 2002

Off to San Diego for the weekend. Jon's best friend, Dave is getting married tonight. I'm leaving work in about 15 minutes. Won't be checking in much this weekend but I will have a full report on Monday. Have a good weekend!
* 11:48 AM

Wednesday, October 09, 2002

The whole sales team here at work just surprised me with a HUGE carrot cake with 27 candles on it and they ALL sang Happy Birthday to me! How freakin cool has this week been so far? Wow... I am so blessed. And the cake is extremely good. Thank goodness Jon and I are hitting the gym after work today.

AND, we had a sales team meeting today with our NY office and Chicago office on a conference call. I was acknowleged at the meeting. They talked about this client I have been working really hard with and got him to extend his account big time. He went from spending $5000 in July to $23,000 in September. Pretty cool. So, then, they acknowledged me for helping out the SEM team and they gave me a special parking pass for the next month on the first floor. We normally have to park on the third floor. How great has this day been?
* 3:42 PM

Monday, October 07, 2002

This weekend has been such a blast so far. Saturday night, I had a bunch of people over for a birthday party. I was pretty silly by the end of the night (hee hee hee) and had an amazing time. Sunday (today), I met my Mom and her long-time beau Joel, my cousin Paul and his son Will, and Murphy, the choreographer and co-performer of the last show I did, for brunch in Sherman Oaks. We went to an awesome place called Marmalade Cafe on Ventura. It was really yummy. I got some wonderful gifts from everyone (thank you!)

After many laughs and a full belly, I headed to my Dad's house to have a birthday dinner. My step-brother Jon and his wife Laura and my Uncle Jim from Michigan were there. My Dad made this amazing pesto salmon and we had mud pie for dessert! (thank you!) My Dad got me a new camera! Hallelujah. I have been using the camera that he got me for my High School graduation in 1993 for the last 10 years. It is this huge, heavy, automatic thing that took ok pictures but was so bulky. I now have a cool Olympus automatic camera and a carrying case. Oooh la la. *smile*

All in all it was a wonderful day. And now....... drum roll please......

happy birthday to me
happy birthday to me
happy birthday to meeeee...eeeeee
happy birthday to me!

27 years old and still kickin' some serious ass!
* 12:00 AM

Saturday, October 05, 2002


Tonight.... party at my house! Should be fun.
* 10:11 AM

How much is too much?

I am normally ok with public displays of affection..... i.e. holding hands, occassional smooches, walking with your arms around each other's waists, etc. But, as I was waiting for my sandwich at a cafe yesterday, I spotted this couple.

Picture this.... an Asian woman with long brown hair, a short skirt, and high black boots. A Caucasian man with short hair and casual attire. It's the middle of the afternoon on Friday... and it's really warm outside. She is sitting ON his lap..... and they are making out, BIG TIME. She is rubbing his neck and running her fingers through his hair while he is rubbing his hands all over her back and then playing with her hair. Not only were they making out but they began rocking side to side together!

The sandwich shop was really busy so I was waiting outside. That was when I saw the couple next door in the ice cream shop. I waited around 10 minutes for my sandwich and during this time, they were groping each other relentlessly.

When it first caught my eye, I thought.... ok, gross...get a room! Was I staring? NO..... like I said, it caught my eye.

Finally, she got off of his lap and he got up to leave. They kissed again standing up, grabbed hands, and then walked off.

I think that would qualify as too much p.d.a. I give them props for not caring at all but seriously....it would be one thing to be on a bench in the middle of a park or something.... but in an ice cream shop? I thought it was kind of inappropriate.
* 10:04 AM

Yesterday, we were sent home at 2:00 because our entire internet connection here at work was down. The cool part about it is we were still paid for the full day! I got to go to the gym early which was great because hardly anyone was there. Last night, we hung out with my friend Ryan. He had to lay down some tracks for Jon who is singing at a wedding next weekend. Jon's best friend, Dave is getting married..... on a boat. It should be interesting.

Today...... still nothing is really working here. I am thoroughly irritated and don't feel like being here. Especially because they said we were moving from the third floor up to the sixth floor so we packed up all of our shit yesterday. Guess what..... because of all the system problems yesterday, my stuff isn't moved. So, I'm sitting at my desk and can't find anything. Grrrrr... I've plugged in the tv and am watching the Jackie Chan cartoon. That will make the time pass a little bit faster.
* 8:07 AM

Friday, October 04, 2002

You know what I want for my birthday? I want my archives from the last year to magically appear on my site. That would be SO freakin cool. Seriously- if anyone knows how to get them back, I would REALLY appreciate it. They are in my archives in blogger and yes, I have republished them numerous times..... but apparently, it is not working. Any brilliant soul out there that can help?
* 8:13 AM

Thursday, October 03, 2002

* 1:29 PM

Tuesday, October 01, 2002

Let's talk about fate. Fate is what keeps me going. I think everything in life happens for a reason and for a specific purpose. I give meaning to everything.... and when I say everything, I mean the license plates of the cars driving in front of me, the order numbers at fast food places, the people I come into contact with, and even getting a speeding ticket. All of these things have made me who I am today.

I disagree with Keith that things happen purely because of a random coincidence. I think there are some things you can look at scientifically... like developing cures for cancer, solving the ozone problem, and earthquakes. But, I personally don't think that life is so black and white that decisions are made and doors are opened and closed just because. Do I always know the reason things happen? No, of course not. But I can always speculate.....

Perhaps you get a job or a show because you are qualified for it or because you are the best singer/dancer/actress. Rarely does that happen. You get opportunities because you met someone through life that hooked you up. You met that person because you were meant to.

I think things happen because they are meant to.... because you are suppose to meet certain people.... or because you have things to learn....because that is where you are meant to be in the "grand scheme of things". Perhaps you ran into your friend 3000 miles away from home for a reason. For instance, I randomly ran into my friend Jeffrey in New York on 8th street. I thought he was still in LA..... but there he was, walking up 8th street! It just so happened that I took that day off from work for an audition and was walking down 8th street at the same time. I recently had been thinking about him and was looking for some Jewish friends to celebrate the holidays with. It was such a blessing to run into him. Was it out of pure coincidence? I don't think so. It was for a reason.

Example number two: I have another friend in NY that I met online through blogger. We chatted all the time. It just so happened that a lot of the anxiety problems that I was having, he was having too. We chatted everyday about our experiences with panic attacks and medications. It was so wonderful to have someone to talk to that was going through the same things I was. It made me feel not so isolated and not so alone. I knew that I wasn't imagining these attacks because there was actually someone out there who was feeling the same way I was. Did I meet James online out of a random coincidence? No, we were introduced at the most perfect time in each other's lives. We both truly needed that support and encouragement. That friendship began for a reason.

The thing is, I could go on forever and give a billion examples of how everything has meaning in my life but it won't mean anything to you. In order to believe in fate, you must believe in a higher power since that is what is driving these meaningful things to be present in your life. If you don't believe in a higher power, of course, you will have a hard time believing that things are happening for any particular reason.

Do I think I'm right?


Do I think everyone should believe the way I do?


Will I respect your way of thinking in hopes that you will respect mine?

* 2:31 PM

* 1:19 PM