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{ personal log }

put up or shut up

People who use IP anonymizer services to send other people hateful email are bed-wetting, sweaty-palmed, pathetic little cowards.

It's happened to me twice in the last few weeks, and I'm not alone. The worst part is, you can't respond to someone who's too cowardly to leave their name. So excuse me while I take a moment to respond here. (Happy, well-adjusted readers can just skip that "more" link.)


Listen, bub. If you think you're grown up enough to use all those big, nasty words, then be a man and sign your name and leave your email address. I might have a few choice words for you, too.

See, because, if you don't, and you hide behind your computer and your safe little obfuscated IP, some people might think that you're some furtive teenage masturbator, some antisocial pimple-faced prepubescent, some pathetic malcontent brain-donor, who's too wretched and malodorous to be seen in daylight and has been forced to peck out insults in your one good hand as your only solace in your miserable, godforsaken, cursed little life.

In other words, put up or shut up, dickhead.

We now continue with your regular Powazek Personal Log programming....

{ 12:08am }



» I've also gotten annonymous mails, so I'll just say "hear hear".

But I can't help but feel sorry for those who do it - they obviously are lonely people who lack something in their lives.

Tom Cosgrave  { 9.25.01 @ 1:52am }

» So umm what are you trying to say Derek? Donít be so vague. :^p

Davezilla  { 9.25.01 @ 8:05am }

» *chuckle*

Yeah Derek, tell us how you really feel. =)

Seriously though, what's the difference between anon hate mail and non-anon hate mail. If you write these folks it only eggs them on further.

dangerman  { 9.25.01 @ 10:19am }

» hey wait a minute...because I didn't skip the "more" link does that mean I'm not a "Happy, well-adjusted reader"?

dangerman  { 9.25.01 @ 10:24am }

» Hey! Who you calling malodorous?!?

Oh... umm, just keep on reading as if I never posted this.

Scott  { 9.25.01 @ 12:00pm }

» Bravo. =) Having just received an especially hurtful anonymous comment a few hours ago, I needed to read this right now. Thanks for putting that feeling into words in a way that I never could.

Noah  { 9.25.01 @ 3:32pm }

» Ugh.
Sorry, Derek.
Its amazing to me that people actually take the time to try to hurt. With so much crap in the world, it boggles my mind that someone would spend the effort to craft an email saying "You suck" or a variation on the theme.

Remember, it has NOTHING to do with you and EVERYTHING to do with the author. You reflect *something* to them.

This is my standard response.

– Halcyon  { 9.25.01 @ 4:17pm }

» Isn't it weird home some crazy bastard can make you all hot under the collar when half the time you don't even know what s/he is even referring to? I got one that said only, "sticki [SIC] it up your stupid ass."

Okay. Thanks!

Mary T.  { 9.25.01 @ 5:01pm }

» i don't know what it is; i post on metafilter but i've never gotten a hate email before. (i bet i will now though.) i'm not even sure what you have to do. it's not as if i don't have opinions on things...

moz  { 9.25.01 @ 6:34pm }

» My mum used to tell me to ignore bullies and their kind, because I'll bet you ten pesos that a good fiery reaction is exactly what your malicious mailer had in mind.

We can learn a lot from ducks.

Lizard  { 9.26.01 @ 7:01am }

» Once again, I'll say this, as I seem to have said it all too often in the last few weeks:

"Don't let the idiots get you down."

Jay  { 9.26.01 @ 1:55pm }

» Happens to the best of us Derek.

Long ago, I coined a term for these lusers. "Keyboard Warriors". They don't know how to socially interact with the real world, feel lonely, depressed, powerless, even suicidal. The Net gives them some sense of power, and they abuse it because they are socially malajusted. By lashing out and attacking others, they gain a sense of "hey, I'm powerful, I'm in control here", especially when we react to their actions publicly. So the answer is, no matter how hurtful or painful the words are, no matter how strong the urge is to respond, don't. By responding, you give them the power that they crave.

In short, "don't feed the trolls".

PS. Hey Derek, I bought Design for Community, mainly for a new site I'm planning on launching in the fall. I had a coupla questions for the author. Problem is, I lost your direct email link (gone during a HD failure that kilt all me Eudora filez). Send me an email, willya?

Mark  { 9.27.01 @ 12:18pm }

» I too have been hit by a few choice words from unknown enemies. But, what's even more infuriating is that recently I've been getting forwarded emails - the Unlucky Toursit photo, the Boycott Starbucks Petition, the pictures of a hanging Bin Laden - from strangers! Now that is way beyond rude. My response is just like yours; I usually post a message on my blog since I know they're already reading it.

Sarah  { 9.27.01 @ 2:10pm }

» Umm.. Just thought I'd remind you of something you once wrote..

"Artists push boundaries. That's what they do. But sometimes boundaries have a habit of pushing back. When they do, let it happen. It ain't personal."

- DMP, 2000

– Quote  { 9.30.01 @ 2:44pm }

» I love that I've been babbling online long enough for my own words to come back to haunt me.

Still, "Quote", using anonymous email to make death threats and and racial slurs was not at all what I meant by "boundaries pushing back." The anonymous email I got was, indeed, personal.

And, to everyone who talked about not giving the trolls the attention they crave, you're absolutely right. But this was not a troll in a public space - it was a hateful act in a private email. Had the person included some way for me to talk back to them directly, I might have done so. But since that wasn't an option, I chose to blow off a little steam here.

Having done so, I feel much better, thanks. :-)

Derek M. Powazek  { 9.30.01 @ 3:03pm }

» Um...I assume you have a way of collecting IP addresses of anonymous posters to your weblog...?

Turkeys suck pig feces. Don't let 'em get you down. (She says blithely, trying to convince herself to do the same).


mirla  { 10.3.01 @ 11:06pm }


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