Just a thought from 16 May 2003 about .

05 16 03 30

It's funny. When I turned 26, I was in Amsterdam, far away from everything I knew, too busy to think much beyond tomorrow. Two years ago, when I turned 28, I was unbelievably freaked out. Because 28 was one year closer to 30. When I hit 29, I was so busy, I barely noticed it. And now, today, 30.

The big three-oh. Finally.

And the funny part is, I'm not freaked out. Not much, anyway. Because I think I've figured something out. None of this time matters. Not to who I am.

I used to say that I never grew up, people just started letting me do more stuff. It sounds like a joke, but it's true. The way I feel now, on the inside, is the way I've felt for about twenty years.

The years have added experience. Dulled some senses, expanded others. I've done some things I never thought I would, most of which I don't regret. I've accomplished things. Achieved. And mostly I'm happy.

But who I am hasn't fundamentally changed. I'm still that daydreaming kid I've always been. Still fighting to find my place. Still craving acceptance. Still looking round the corner for what's next.

I have always been that kid, and I think now I always will be. It's a revelation that, like all of them, sounds completely obvious when you write it down. But that kid in me knows what I mean.

Happy birthday, kid.

This section is called Just a Thought. It's a blog where I post little pieces of what I'm thinking about at the moment. This page is an individual entry called “Thirty” that I wrote on 16 May 2003.

Before this, I wrote a little something called “Fray is” on 15 May 2003. After this, I wrote “In with a bang” on 18 May 2003.

Fray is
Maybe now people will finally stop asking me what it is and how to do it....
15 May 2003

In with a bang
If only every day of my thirties could be spent with so many awesome people....
18 May 2003

The Fine Print

Working the web since 1995, Derek Powazek is the creator of many award-winning websites, a couple of which still exist. Derek is the cofounder of JPG Magazine and the CCO of 8020 Publishing. Derek lives in San Francisco with his wife, two nutty Chihuahuas, a grumpy cat, and a house full of plants named Fred. More »

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