{ jenn powazek }

This is Jenn's old site. Her new site is located at powazek.com/jenn.

{ jenntrooper }
...in the ultimate search of what makes me happy in this lifetime.

10/01/2000 - 10/31/2000
11/01/2000 - 11/30/2000
12/01/2000 - 12/31/2000
01/01/2001 - 01/31/2001
02/01/2001 - 02/28/2001
03/01/2001 - 03/31/2001
04/01/2001 - 04/30/2001
05/01/2001 - 05/31/2001
06/01/2001 - 06/30/2001
07/01/2001 - 07/31/2001
08/01/2001 - 08/31/2001
09/01/2001 - 09/30/2001
10/01/2001 - 10/31/2001
11/01/2001 - 11/30/2001
12/01/2001 - 12/31/2001
01/01/2002 - 01/31/2002
02/01/2002 - 02/28/2002
03/01/2002 - 03/31/2002
04/01/2002 - 04/30/2002
05/01/2002 - 05/31/2002
06/01/2002 - 06/30/2002
07/01/2002 - 07/31/2002
08/01/2002 - 08/31/2002
09/01/2002 - 09/30/2002
10/01/2002 - 10/31/2002
11/01/2002 - 11/30/2002

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Saturday, June 30, 2001

So much to write about......you wouldn't even believe! Too tired....will tell all tomorrow....
* 10:25 PM

Friday, June 29, 2001

still packing.....Yard Sale is on for tomorrow morning....as long as weather permits. It isn't supposed to rain until the evening so I think we'll be ok. Must continue packing.....
* 11:04 AM

Deelio- congrats on your new puppy, Bear! I can't wait to meet him next week when I am back in Calli.
* 6:25 AM

So sad to hear about Jack Lemmon. I didn't even know that he had cancer! I have to admit- I am a huge Grumpy Old Man and Grumpier Old Man fan. I have the videos. Jon and I used to watch Grumpier Old Men a couple times a week and just laugh our heads off. I'm sorry those guys won't be around anymore. At least they are together again....wherever they are.
* 6:22 AM

I was checking out A fire inside this morning (p.s. I really like her website- you should check it out if you haven't already). Anyhoo- she had a link to find out your Glam Rock Name. That stuff always makes me laugh so I decided to try it out. My glam rock name was Sweet Superstar. See? I may not have booked my first Broadway show this week, but I'm still a superstar! *smile*

Off to the store to get more bubble wrap for my stereo and Harry Potter lithograph! Moving company is coming TODAY!! Did I mention that I cannot WAIT for the Harry Potter movie to come out?
* 6:17 AM

Thursday, June 28, 2001

Whew....girl had a bit to drink last night! My Dad, Derek, and Tim (my voice teacher) all said to have a drink for them.....so....I did! I had such a blast. Hung out with Jeff, Andrea, Joel, and Noelle at McCann's, my favorite Astoria pub. It was ladies night so our drinks were 1/2 off....NICE!

Met my friend Beth for lunch this afternoon down at Merrill Lynch.....went in and visited with my old boss and co-workers. They were so excited to see me.....felt good.

Tonight- packing, packing, and more packing.....moving company comes tomorrow!
* 4:39 PM

Wednesday, June 27, 2001

watching Austin Powers.....that movie always makes me laugh.....hopefully gonna get some drinks tonight with some friends....I could use a few drinks...
* 3:58 PM

I wish I was bringing good news .....but unfortunately, I'm not. I got cut after the dance call.

I got to the callback and was surprised at how many girls were there.....about 25. The majority of them were either Black or Asian. Very curious. We all went into the room together, they took individual poloroids of everyone.....and then taught us a combination. It was SO easy....a lot of it was improv. The cut was definitely not based on talent. After we performed the combination in groups of four, the team left the room to make some decisions. I felt good about my dancing....they even had my group do the dance twice. When they came back, they made an announcement that they would like some girls to stay and sing and the rest of us were done. They thanked us and said they'd be casting the tour soon also and all of us would be on file for that. I honestly was shocked when they didn't call my name to stay. I was a little confused since I was originally called back for Sophie. So, I gathered my things and went to find Tara. I asked her if I should stay to sing or read for Sophie since that is what I was originally called in for. She said no, and that they saw as much as they needed to see.

I left the studio, called Jeanne, the agent, and told her what happened, called Jon and left him a message, and then got on the subway. I put my walkman on, and began to cry. I was so disappointed. I had worked so hard all week on the material....the songs and the script. I had it all memorized and ready to go. If I had known that I was just going in to dance for one of the girls, I would not have been nervous at all! I was so bummed.

Once I was above ground, I called my mom....couldn't really talk about it....I was still too upset. When I got off the subway I talked to Jon. I just cried the whole walk home. He reassured me that it wasn't about me. It was just a certain look they were going for and that I had every right to be disappointed. We had a really great talk. I'm sorry for those of you that have called today....I haven't really been in the mood to talk and haven't been answering my phone. I'm sure we will talk soon.

When I got home, I got in bed and slept for three hours....I was so exhausted. I finallly just ate some mexican food that I ordered. I hadn't eaten since 8:30 this morning. ...but when I first got home, I thought sleep was more important.

I feel really good about all of the work I did.....I am amazed at how far I got.....I am still excited about going to LA....I am disappointed that I didn't get to sing for the whole creative team....I think they are missing out....I still win because I get to do the show in LA......that will be fun! Oh well, everything does happen for a reason....it was out of my hands....I did the best I could do.

Thank you for all of the good vibes. Now I've gotta get packing. Moving company comes on Friday.
* 2:58 PM

Tuesday, June 26, 2001

Did I happen to mention that I am JUMPING OUT OF MY SKIN??? I am starting to get really nervous. It just hit me today. I called the agent this morning, Jeanne Nicolosi of Waters and Nicolosi, and she wanted to meet with me ay 3:30!! So, I had a leisurely afternoon, got ready and ended up at 1501 Broadway at 3:15....I like to be early if not on time. Everyone there was so nice and welcoming. They said they've heard my name around the office for a couple of days because Tami had called and let them know I would be calling. How about that? I met with Jeanne for 40 minutes! How cool is she? She talked to me about everything! She said Well, I knew I was meeting with you today, so I called Tara Rubin (the casting director of Mamma Mia, who she happens to be good friends with) and let her know that I was meeting with you today. I asked her what the scoop was and she told me that this is THEE FINAL CALLBACK and they would be letting me know either that day or the next.

HOLY SHIT!! I about crapped my pants right there.

So, I asked, Should I assume then that I am really in the running? How many girls did they callback?

And she said I don't know how many people they called back but they aren't bringing anyone to the creative team that they don't think is perfect for the part.


Then, Jeanne told me that if I book this show, she'd like me to sign with her. How about them apples? So, essentially, in one day, I could book my first Broadway show AND have an agent. Oh my..... how am I ever going to sleep tonight.

I've already gone through my songs and memorized the script, ironed my clothes, set out my jazz shoes, put my bottled water in the fridge, and paced around my house like 20 times. This is so exciting. Knowing by tomorrow means that if I get it or not, I am still flying home to LA on Monday. If I do get it, rehearsals don't start until early August so I'd still have time to hang with my family and friends.....and then come back and have to find a place to live out here.

I'm kind of relieved with the fact that I will know something before I go...hopefully I will know tomorrow!

Ok, thank you for all of your emails and positive vibes......*smile* PLEASE, send them tomorrow at 11:00 AM. I will need them! I'll let you know as soon as I know. AAAAAHHHHHH....I am screaming inside. I hope I am not shaking like this tomorrow.

until tomorrow.......
* 4:54 PM

I had my reading last night of The Great Gatsby. I went really well! I was so pleased with how everything went. I was a little nervous because my voice teacher was there and I was singing soprano but I felt good about my performance. It was such a talented cast as a whole. My friends David, Colleen, and Noelle came to support me....that was so cool! Afterwards, we went to Chevy's for some food and drinks! Such a good time. When I got home, I was so exhausted, I drank a bunch of water and then crashed!

This morning, tons of stuff to do....I gotta get on the horn to that agent.....see if I can meet up with her sometime today.....off to do that now.
* 7:45 AM

Sunday, June 24, 2001

I once heard a quote that said "Theater is 1% talent, 49% connections, and 50% saying 'would you like fries with that?'" -Divalicious15

So true.....thanks Laura!
* 8:55 PM

Did I happen to mention how TOTALLY overwhelmed I am right now? Let us see.....I'm packing up my apartment to move to LA ....although, now, I may not move to LA. I have crap all over my house that I'm avoiding packing because I am not sure where to put it all. I am doing this reading of a new musical tomorrow that I haven't completely learned all of the music for. My callback for Mamma Mia is on Wednesday. I may or may not know if I booked it...or if there will be another callback before the moving company comes to take all of my boxes and drive them to LA. I am supposed to board a plane for LA Monday morning. I may or may not know anything about Mamma Mia by then. I am supposed to sing Ave Maria and From This Moment at a wedding in LA on July the seventh. Have I even looked at that music? NO.... Is it difficult music? YES.... should I let the bride know that I may not be back in LA in time for her wedding? I don't know. I also need to find a time to talk to Jeanne Nicolosi, Tami's agent, to see if I book this show, if she wants to do the negotiating for me.

This is why I am overwhelmed. Yes, everything is a good kind of stress...no one is dying....nothing horrible is happening.....it's just timing issues. For those who know me, you know that I work best within a structure. When things are unsettled and up in the air, I get very antsy. So there you are.....I am totally antsy. I look at piles and know they need to be organized and packed....yet, all I can do is eat some dried apricots and get back into bed. Grrrrr......hopefully I can get some stuff accomplished tonight.

Watch out for the snowball.......she's getting bigger and bigger every second.....
* 5:23 PM

Saturday, June 23, 2001

To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to learn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.....this is to have succeeded.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
* 6:26 PM

The yard sale never happened this morning because it was pouring! It was beautiful and sunny for one minute and then the next minute it was raining and thundering. It was like that all day. So, I decided to be productive. I emptied out all of my drawers, threw out tons of stuff, and packed some more boxes. At 2:30, I headed out to my voice lesson....which went really well. He worked with me on Honey, Honey.....vocally it was fine, but he coached me on it and gave me a bunch of ideas of things to do. I feel so much more comfortable with it now. He also worked with me on one of the songs from The Great Gatsby. I have to sing a high B natural.....and hold it for 32 counts!!! It is crazy.....luckily, there are 7 people singing at the same time....unfortunately, I am the only one on that top note. But again, with Tim being thee most amazing teacher that he is, I feel good about it now. He has a callback for Mamma Mia too...on Thursday. How funny would that be?

Marcia came tonight and picked up all of the furniture. She took my dresser, bookshelf, desk, and chair. The house is starting to look pretty empty. Everything is off of my walls and I have clothes all over my floor, since I don't have a dresser anymore. In fact, right now, I am sitting on the floor typing this since my desk and chair are gone! It is starting to sink in that I am moving next week. The weird thing is, I'm not quite sure where I'm moving yet! Still trying to float.....getting a little overwhelmed.

I was supposed to go out to dinner tonight with Carrie, but I am in a strange place....emotionally. I don't do well with change. Even though I am totally looking forward to whatever happens....either moving to LA and living with my cousin and doing Paul's show, or having my broadway debut and being homeless (hee hee hee). I just don't like this stage....the not knowing....it's a bit frustrating. So, another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody. Anyone want to come over and hang out? *smile*
* 6:06 PM

Friday, June 22, 2001

After I said all of my goodbyes at work today, I logged off for the last time and headed out to drop my time card off......I put in 49 hours this week! They let me take a free car ride home because I had so much stuff.....flowers, presents, stuff that's been in my desk for months, etc. When I got home, I was so exhausted....I climbed into bed and took a nap for an hour. It felt so good. I had no plans for the evening so I thought, why not just relax in bed. My cell phone rang and woke me up.....then my regular phone started ringing.....and then my call waiting beeped in. Apparently, I wasn't supposed to be sleeping! The first call was my voice teacher, the second was my friend David.....asking me to the movies, and the third was my mother. It was very hectic for a couple of minutes there. My voice teacher wanted me to bring my ABBA book to my lesson tomorrow so he could borrow it for HIS callback.....David and I decided to meet in a half an hour to see Shrek (which was awesome!)....and my mother.....let's see, why did she call? Oh, to see how my last day of work went. I was a bit irritable because I had just woken up and was frazzled by all of the phone calls. Sorry Mom.....didn't mean to bite your head off!

Tomorrow, 8:00 am, yard sale. Anyone in New York wants to come....you are totally invited! I am hoping it won't rain. It's in the forecast but it looks ok out so far!

Most exciting thing.....my friend Derek called from Tokyo to wish me congrats on my callback. He was screaming on the answering machine. I am so bummed I missed his call. He is on tour with Cabaret and gets back into New York the day after I'm supposed to leave. We'll see.....maybe I'll end up getting to see him after all! Off to clean out my dresser drawers and book shelf. Marcia is coming tomorrow for all of my furniture! Wish me luck at the yard sale!

The snowball has picked up some speed......
* 9:01 PM

So, my co-workers threw me a surprise going away party with a strawberry shortcake and whipped cream cake....how cool is that? I was totally surprised. I'm going to miss them all very much. It's kinda sad....
* 2:02 PM

My boss just took me out to lunch.....I am stuffed. Starting to get a little sleepy. I think I may just stay home tonight and sleep. I have to clean out all of my furniture because the woman I sold it all to is picking it up tomorrow night! The snowball has started rolling!
* 10:50 AM

I also went wild last night at HMV.....I bought four new cd's. Two of them were on sale though! I got the Moulin Rouge soundtrack which, so far, is flawless. I got the new Destiny's Child cd...as it had been recommended to me by a billion people. I got the new Radiohead which is AMAZING....I totally love it.....especially the second song. And, I got Travis. Have you heard of him? I just recently heard one of his songs when I was getting a sandwich at Cosi.....I asked who it was...and of course, they didn't know. Well, I just recently heard the song again when I was out for drinks with a friend. I asked the waitress who it was and she said Travis ....and I said, Travis who?......and she said, just Travis. Because I loved that one song, I bought the cd. It is going to be my favorite for the year....I can just tell. Run, don't walk to go buy this cd.....it's called The Invisible Band. The fifth song is thee best. Here are some of the lyrics:

Flowers in the Window
Wow, look at you now, flowers in the window.
It's such a lovely day and I'm glad you feel the same,
'cos to stand up, out in the crowd,
you are one in a million, and I love you so let's watch the flowers grow.

So now we're here and now is fine.
So far away from there and there is time, time, time.
To plant new seeds and watch them grow
so there'll be flowers in the window when we go.

ok, writing the words out doesn't do this song any justice.....the music is so cheery and wonderful. I listened to it 10 times on the subway this morning! Go buy it, or download it to listen to it. I swear, it will make you so happy and put you in an incredible mood.
* 6:19 AM

I was on the phone ALL last night.....ordered some sushi.....tried to relax....couldn't...finally got to sleep around 1:30 am. My alarm went off this morning at 6:00 with the song Under Pressure playing. Isn't that ironic.....don't cha think? I have a big ole headache. Too much excitement.

On my way to the subway this morning, I felt like Belle in the opening scene of Beauty and the Beast. Everyone was saying "Good morning" or "Good day" to me. I felt like they were singing behind my back "Look there she goes that girl is strange, no question. I wonder if she's feeling well." That's part of the opening song....just in case you were lost. *hee hee hee* After work last night, I stopped at the library to drop off a book (the sheet music for Oklahoma) and I had to go to Staples to get a few things. At both places, the girl's working there commented on my huge smile. I must have been radiating some sort of energy.....beaming.... glowing!
* 5:29 AM

Thursday, June 21, 2001

OH MY GOSH......
* 2:13 PM

so much to do.....so little time.....
* 12:40 PM

A few statistics:

Number of people caught picking their nose on the subway this morning - 2
Number of Broadway shows closing in the next month - 2
Number of times I hit the snooze button this morning - 1
Number of times I checked my answering machine yesterday to see if I got a call from Mamma Mia - 25
Number of phone calls from Mamma Mia - 0
Number of times my Mother called me yesterday - 2
* 6:35 AM

Wednesday, June 20, 2001

"Nothing says 'take me' like a big ball-a-booger" - James' quote of the day.
* 10:34 AM

Yahoooo....one of the secretaries here at work just bought my dresser, bookshelf, desk, and chair from me! She's giving me the money today and picking it all up this weekend. SCORE!!
* 9:03 AM

Oh, about Mamma Mia. My voice teacher, Tim, knows the people casting it. He told me last night, that they aren't having final callbacks until around the 27th....which means they may wait a while to call. CRAP....that means I'm waiting for something that may or may not even happen. I am trying to be positive about it all.....I still look at it as a win/win situation. I either get a callback for the lead in a Broadway show (oh my gosh!) or I get to fly to LA and originate a lead role in a new musical there...and be close to my family, and drive my car, and go to the beach!! Yes, it is all good!
* 6:10 AM

Happy Birthday to my cousin, Paul! How old are you now? 21? *hee hee hee* Can't wait to see you soon and start working on the show!

Paul is directing the show that I'm doing in LA (as long as I don't get Mamma Mia). He is an amazing director and performer himself! He directed the last show I did in LA, Both Barrels. It was such a great experience finally getting to work with him. I'm totally looking forward to this new project.

Have a great day, Paul!! See you soon.
* 5:59 AM

If you are eating...I would suggest not reading this. I don't know what the deal is....but, I am always seated next to someone on the subway that is picking their nose! I'm sorry....it totally grosses me out. It's not like they have a kleenex and are blowing their nose and cleaning up the edges or anything. This is full out....sticking their finger in the nostril and digging for gold! Last night, on my way home from my voice lesson, there was this guy sitting in front of me. He was reading the Wall Street Journal......and then, he took the plunge. It started out with just a nudge to the nose.....then, a scratch....and then, the next thing you know, half of his index finger was up his nose.

Now, you might be asking yourself, why did I keep on watching? Well, it was like a horror movie....you don't really want to see what's happening, but you keep checking back to see if it's over. That's what happened. I kept checking back and thought Aren't you done yet? After about 15 minutes, I wanted to scream, Do you think you got it all? Geesh.....

The funny thing is.....usually you can tell if someone is watching you....at least, I can. He didn't notice that I was glaring at him. He just kept on reading his newspaper and picking away. Not only was he picking, but he was rolling whatever he found and flicking it! Lovely, huh? I decided to close my eyes and just focus on my music, Janet Jackson- The Velvet Rope. When I opened my eyes, he was no longer picking his nose......he was chewing on the cuticles around every finger. Nice....I'm sure he was chewing on the finger he had up his nose 15 minutes prior to that too. As I was glaring at him, he finally noticed my stare and gave me a Hey-you're-kinda-cute-smile. I looked back at him like, Don't even.....I've been watching you for the last half hour and you totally grossed me out! Sorry, I just had to share that this morning!
* 5:50 AM

Tuesday, June 19, 2001

Off to my voice lesson!
* 3:02 PM

my counter is at 2300.....my lucky number is 23! It's a good sign....an omen.
* 1:52 PM

I am so sleepy.....have had like 3 donuts today......feel like a huge cow. I have a voice lesson tonight and just don't know what to work on. Should I work on the Mamma Mia material some more just in case I get another callback? Or should I work on other material? I don't know....I was hoping they'd call me by now....kind of a bit bummed. But, I am not in control of this. I have to release it to the universe and if it is meant to be, it will happen. It's just frustrating waiting.....

I am having a great time working on the Great Gatsby though. The music is really amazing. The performance for that is next Monday.

For my voice lesson....I have to go all the way up to Washington Heights. I am going to be CRAN-KY tonight because I have to take the subway from here (World Trade Center) all the way up to Washington Heights and then from there, all the way out to Astoria.... after already working a 10 hour day. That is going to suck! And of course, I am on a major sugar crash from the donuts and coffee.

*sticking lower lip out* .....just need a short nap!
* 1:47 PM

* 11:19 AM

I woke up this morning at 6:00 am to my alarm clock.....the song Vienna, by Billy Joel had just started. It's always been one of my favorite songs but for some reason, the lyrics meant more to me this morning than they ever have. Maybe it's because I was still halfway in dreamland and halfway in reality.....I don't know....but it got me thinking. Read through these words. What is it that's waiting for you? Where or who or what is your Vienna? If you have time, click on the feedback button on the left side to share your thoughts.

Slow down you crazy child
You're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart tell me why
You are still so afraid?
Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You better cool it off before you burn it out
You got so much to do and only
so many hours in a day
But you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you an just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you
Slow down you're doing fine
You can't be everything you want to be
Before your time
Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight
Too bad but it's the life you lead
You're so ahead of yourself
That you forfeit what you need
Though you can see when you're wrong
But you know you can't always see when you're right
You got your passion you got your pride
BUt don't you know only fools are satisfied?
Dream on but don't imagine they'll al come true
When will you realize
Vienna waits for you
Slow down you crazy child
Take the phone off the hook
And disappeaar for a while
It's alright you can afford to lose a day or two
When will you realize...
Vienna waits for you.

* 6:03 AM

Check out my counter! I can't believe how many people read this site. WOW! I just wanted to get mushy for a minute and say thank you to everyone who has emailed or instant messaged me. Your support and encouragement really means a lot to me. I truly appreciate it. Honestly....thank you. Ok, the mushy section has ended! I was just in the mood to give away some love. It's my bosses birthday today too....I brought in a bunch of balloons, flowers, and two dozen donuts for the group I work with. I guess I'm in a pretty giving mood today.....we'll see how long this lasts!
* 5:55 AM

Monday, June 18, 2001

Off to my rehearsal for the Great Gatsby. I'm really excited to hear what the music will sound like! No words from the Mamma Mia people.......man....waiting sucks!
* 1:27 PM

I've had my apartment to myself for the last several months.....my roommate has been on tour with the musical Swing! It has been so nice to have the place to myself. That freedom ends today. Randie is coming back....with her boyfriend. It's fine...we really get along ok, it's just going to be different....I've kind of gotten used to watching my cartoons loudly in the morning, walking around in my birthday suit, not caring about leaving my stuff all over the place.....and now.....it all must change! Oh well- it's only for the next two weeks....and then I'm off to CA!! Unless I book a broadway show! *smile*
* 9:25 AM

"Good morning, good morning, we danced the whole night through good morning, good morning to you and you and you and you!" - Singing in the Rain

I slept so much better last night. Saturday night, I tossed and turned all night! I think I was so wound up from my day that I couldn't turn my brain off.....I kept replaying the day, more specifically, the audition over and over in my head. Plus, it was storming outside and the rain was loudly hitting my airconditioner. Then, at 4:00 in the morning, my full length mirror fell down from my wall! It scared the living day lights out of me! I thought someone was breaking into my house. I got up and checked to see if the mirror had broken.... I was worried....I don't need 7 years of bad luck right now. Luckily, it was ok....but from then on, I was pretty much awake. Grrrrrr..... anyhoo- I slept very well last night.....never even got out of my jammies yesterday! *hee hee hee*

Thank you to Marrije! She sent me an animation of a countdown (my days left in New York) and then a plane taking off and flying across the sky. The plane had a smiley face on it and a star on the tail. It was so cool! Thank you for making me smile this morning!
* 6:01 AM

Sunday, June 17, 2001

Did I happen to mention it is 9:00 pm and I am still in my jammies? Guess I needed a day to recoop from yesterday! I've been getting tons of packing done, been listening to music and singing at the top of my lungs, and lots of chatting online. It's been a really good day....I've laughed a lot....smiled a lot....and thought a lot.....
* 6:13 PM

Happy Father's day, Dad! Dinner and drinks at the Buffalo Inn are on me when I get home! I am so thankful to have you in my life. I hope you know how important you are to me and just how much I appreciate your support. I can't wait to see you....very soon. Hope you've had a wonderful day. You absolutely deserve it! Love you lots!
* 6:09 PM

Saturday, June 16, 2001

I just got back from my callback. Um.......I feel really good about it. Those of you that know me well, know that I am a perfectionist. So, I feel like I could have done a few things better.....but, well, let me start from the beginning.

I got up at 9:30 this morning, threw some clothes on and went to the laundromat. Did two loads of laundry and while that was going, I got a pedicure. I figured I could treat myself....and I knew I was going to wear sandals to the audition so I wanted my toes to match my pants.....silly me. While I was finishing up my laundry, I went next door to the grocery store and bought a pack of fresh fruit. Omen #1- my lucky number is 23. The cost of my fruit was $2.23. That may seem like nothing to you but I am really particular about numbers....so that was a good sign. After my laundry was done and my toes were a beautiful red, I walked home......went over my songs and lines....and then took a nap. I was already pooped. At 1:00, I jumped in the shower....ironed my clothes.... warmed up my voice....did my hair and make-up....packed my bag....and was out the door by 3:20.

By this point, I was still not nervous....I was very calm and just going over everything in my head. On the subway, I read my book (Cruddy) and kept drinking water...hydration was totally important. At 42nd Street, I transfered to the 1/9 train. At 34th Street, the conductor announced that the train was now going to be an express train....which meant they were going to skip my stop. Irritated, I got off of the train and waited for the next one. I thought, there must be some reason I should be on a different train. Anyone who knows me, knows that I think everything happens for a reason.

So, I waited and jumped on the next train. I sat down and looked up. Omen #2. The guy in front of me was holding The Alchemist in his hand. I started laughing out loud. The Alchemist, by Paulo Cohelo, is my all time favorite book. It is about a shepherd who has this reoccurring dream about a treasure. He isn't sure if he should go in search of the treasure or if he should just continue on his path with his sheep. After all, being a shepherd is all he ever wanted to be. I don't want to ruin the story for anyone who hasn't read it.....all I can say is it is thee most amazing book and if you haven't read it, I highly suggest you do.

The irony of seeing the guy with The Alchemist was because here I was, on my way to the callback.... essentially in search of my treasure. It made me feel I was on the right path....in the place I was meant to be.

I got to the studio and of course, they were running behind schedule. I had to sit there for 45 minutes before going in. I started to get a little nervous but I struck up conversation with the girl next to me.....that helped. The weird thing was that everyone who was called back for Sophie was blonde. I felt a little out of place but you just never know what they are looking for. I watched each girl go in and come out of the room. Everyone had a different response. Some only sang one song, some sang pieces of all three, some read, some sang one of their own songs from their book. I realized that I was the last appointment of the day. I also found out that all of these girls were there on agent submissions. I was the only one taken from the open call. That made me feel pretty good.

Suddenly, the door opened and they called my name. I went in....smiled....chatted. They were very friendly and seemed glad to see me. They commented on my outfit...said it was a lot less glam and exactly what they were looking for. Good start! The director asked me to take off my shoes....not quite sure why....but, I said cool- I'm so glad I got a pedicure this morning! They laughed and said that it looked good. I had on red capri pants and a cute white top.

We started with the song I Have a Dream. The director gave me a lot of information about what he wanted and what was going on in the story at that point. I sang it through and he gave me some direction and asked me to do it again. That is always a good sign. I decided to sit down the second time around. I took the direction well and at the end of the song he said, Well done....really nice job. One down......

Next, we did the song Honey, Honey. Again, he prepped me on what he wanted and gave me the scoop on what is going on during the song. I did it once through and again, he gave me some direction and had me do it again. After the song, he gave me a lot of compliments and was exchanging looks and comments with the other people at the table. Two down.....

He asked to hear the third song, The Name of the Game. I was really looking forward to that song because that is the one that I worked the most on and felt I rocked on. Through the whole beginning of the song, he was talking to the other women and occassionally would shout compliments at me....like "great moment" or "yes, that was good". So, I started to get distracted and forgot the words!! AAAAHHHH, it was ok though. He said, let's go back to whatever part and I started again. I got so into the song, I forgot the words again and said SHIT outloud! Ok, probably not the best idea. The director said to just keep going....so, I did and finished the song. They were really complimentary....but didn't have me read. I don't know if they had just already seen enough and didn't need to see it or if they hated me because I forgot the words. But, come on, they gave me the music yesterday and couldn't have expected me to memorize all of it. (I didn't get the "they hate me" vibe from them at all....that's just an expression I use all of the time!) We chatted a bit and said our thank you's to eachother and I walked out of the room. I left the studio and was waiting for the elevator when I started crying. I cried all the way down to the floor level and then cried a bit outside. The thing is, I wasn't sad.....I think it was just a release. I was so overwhelmed and built up....I knew I'd break down when it was over.

The perfectionist in me is really bummed about forgetting those words. I can't help but think that if I had remembered them, they may have asked me to read. But I can't dwell on that. I think vocally I kicked some serious ass. I always bring a little tape recorder in my backpack and record my auditions. I want to know what I sounded like to them instead of what I think I sounded like. I listened to the tape on the subway ride home. It really is vocally perfect. And, I know I acted the shit out of those songs. SO, I feel good about that. I'm just a bit bummed about forgetting the words. I'll get over it.....we'll see. I didn't get a yes or no feeling from them. Well, I actually, I got more of a yes feeling than a no feeling. I know I took direction really well and interacted a lot with them. That is always a good thing.

Now I am home, listening to some BareNaked Ladies.....grabbed some sushi and some fresh organic chocolate chip cookies from Whole Foods Market on my way home. I love that place. I just downed some food and am going to take a short nap. I am physically and emotionally drained. I'm definitely going out tonight.....I deserve it! A few drinks to unwind sounds good. For those of you that were sending good thoughts or vibes my way....thank you so much. I truly felt it! I really was not nervous at all and felt totally confident.....except for saying SHIT outloud. Well, it was a learning experience! I will let you know if I hear anything!
* 4:30 PM

Friday, June 15, 2001

No longer meeting the friend of my friend's to work on the music....I'm getting together with Frank tonight. He is the lyricist for the reading of that musical I'm doing in two weeks. My voice teacher suggested I work with him. But guess what....I am leaving now to go pick up my MAKE-UP BAG!! I called the studio where the audition was and it was there. Someone had turned it in. Oh bless today! I am so excited. Off to get my make-up bag and rehearse.......
* 2:34 PM

ok, totally freaking out. They faxed me three songs and the script to scene one......I have to learn all of this by tomorrow!! And, my voice teacher is out of town. SHIT. Ok, found another vocal coach, a friend of a friend....I am meeting with her at her house tonight, after work....actually, after I stop at Sephora's to pick up some make-up! I am so excited.....I just can't believe it. Y'all better be sending good vibes tomorrow at 5:00 pm. *huge smile*
* 9:32 AM

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH.... call back for Mamma Mia for Sophie, the lead, tomorrow at 5:00!!
* 8:32 AM

Following every good day, must be a bad day, I suppose. Yesterday was so great.....today has already been disasterous. First, I had a friend in need call at 2:30 in the morning....nice. Since I went to bed around 1:45, I had only been asleep for 45 minutes. I stayed up....talking in a haze until 3:30. Then, guess what? I was wide awake....and hungry. So, I got up, had some leftover Mac-n-cheese from KFC, lots-o-water, and then finally fell asleep around 4:00. When my alarm went off at 6:00, I thought are you kidding? It felt like I had just taken a short nap. As I stood up from my bed, I totally fell over. My calf had tightened up so much while I slept, I couldn't even stand on it. First grrrrrrrr of the morning.

The next grrrrrrr came when I looked in the mirror. Oh lovely, I thought. Guess who slept with a mosquito? Yep.....a big ole bite mark on my right cheek and on my leg. Pretty!

The third grrrrrrr came when I went to my backpack to get my make-up bag. Remember how I put all of my make-up in my backpack yesterday so I'd have it for my audition and for the evening? Right, well, at some point, that make-up bag got up and walked right out of my backpack. Gone.....SO FRUSTRATED! I had about $200 worth of make-up and brushes in there. Thank goodness I didn't have all of my make-up in there. I still had some stuff at home to put on this morning.

Ok, reality check.... losing your make-up bag is not like losing a limb, or my planner, or even my cell phone. But it's still a huge pain in my ass and in my wallet. On my way to work this morning, I made a list of everything that was in there. Grrrrr.....I'm going to call the theatre this morning and see if, by chance, it is still under my seat or if some blessed soul may have turned it in. P-shaw, right! I can still hope, can't I? Alright, it's probably gone forever. I'll start replacing it all this weekend. Drats!

But, when I got in this morning, I got thee best email from my friend, Pedro (deelio). Thank you, Pedro. You totally made me smile!


just so you know...I just checked your site. it made me cry. i am so proud of you...you rock. show those muthafuckah Mamma Mia people what you are and book the fucking job! (but come home for July 15th-22nd because I'm going on for Steve).
anyway...you rock, you should know that. and if you come back to L.A. Mamma Mia-less, you still muthafucking rock. but in the meantime, show your Mamma how Mia you really are!

* 6:14 AM

Thursday, June 14, 2001

Just got home....what a long friggin day! I'm sitting here, in the dark, listening to my voice tape from today and icing my calf! I told you I'd be sore. I should be in bed since I have to be up in 5 hours for work but I have to write about my day. It was AMAZING!

Ok, I got up at 9:00 am, downed a glass of water (I was totally parched) and jumped in the shower. I spent the next hour doing a short work out and then a big ole vocal warm up. I felt really good, vocally... thank goodness. I spent the next hour figuring out what to wear and packing my backpack for my day. I knew I needed clothes for the audition, vocal binder, ABBA book, headshots, resumes, extra nylons (in case mine ran....can't be too prepared), songs for my voice lesson, blank tape, deoderant, sweater for tonight, umbrella (just in case), water, banana (potassium for my sore muscles), book, cd player and cd's (so I don't have to listen to annoying people at the audition), and make-up. Jesus..... So, I went over my song a bunch of times, made sure I was ready, threw on my skater capri's, tennies, and a tanktop and headed out the door by 11:00. Oh, I also took a bunch of signs for my furniture for sale and tape, and taped them up and down the street again! Someone keeps ripping them down....probably my landlady!

Got on the subway by 11:20 and got a good seat in an air conditioned car...very important! After one stop, this old lady got on. I recognized her.....I had offerred my seat to her a year ago. She was so grateful, she started taking things out of her bag...pictures of Jesus, and sharing them with me. The weirdest thing is, again, she had no place to sit.....and no one was getting up. So, I stood up and said, Would you like to sit down? I stood the rest of the way to Chelsea. I really didn't mind though. It gave me a chance to stretch out my calf for a while! She started searching through her bag again, but this time, I had my walkman on! I had that warm fuzzy feeling you get after doing a mitzvah, a good deed. That was an omen to my good day I was about to have.

Ok.....got to the studio in Chelsea at 12:00.....there was already a line forming! I was 3 hours early...you'd think that would be enough. I was the 20th person in line. I sat for a while, listening to the girls to the right and left of me having a conversation over me....don't you hate that? I put my walkman on (listening to Bat Boy and then Sade) and started reading my book (Cruddy....which is amazing). I spent the next two hours totally tuned out. At 2:00, they started signing people in. I got in the 3:40 group....called my voice teacher to say I would be a bit late to my lesson and he told me I could get there at 5:00 and that would be no problem. COOL..

Around 2:45, I went to the changing room and got dressed......short black skirt, black tank top with a shiny purple flower on the front, and black heels. Felt very sexy....except for the fact that my right calf was killing me and I could barely walk right! I was praying I wouldn't trip! I walked slowly back to my seat and waited until they called my name.

At 3:30, they called my group to line up. I waited in line until my turn....around 3:50. I went in the room, said hello to everyone behind the table and made my way to the pianist. I put my book on the piano and showed him what I'd be singing, where I did some specific things, and gave him the tempo. I walked to the center of the room, took a deep breath, and began my song. I can't even describe the feeling.....it felt so good. I was totally connected to what I was talking about and my voice was completely aligned and supported. I honestly don't think I could have done it any better.

When I finished singing, they were passing my resume back and forth and talking. That is usually a good sign. I just stood there, smiling at them. The main international casting guy said,

That was really great. What we're looking for in this show, is this.
He pointed to my headshot in his hand!

And I said,

That's me!

And he said,

That is you, but that isn't what you gave us. You gave us glam, fancy... and we are looking for hometown, casual, everyday girl.

Oh, I said.....I've never seen the show...and I guess I had a misconception of what it looked like. I figured '80's, ABBA, wild, glam....thusly, my dressed up outfit! Let me show you my other headshot.

I took out my commercial composite which has a shot of me in jeans, boots, and a tank top....very GAP. And I said,

That's me. That's how I usually dress.

And he said,

That's exactly what we're looking for. And he showed the picture to everyone else at the table as they all nodded.

*racing heart*

So, then they said,

When you come back, we'd like to see you in capri's, flipflops, a tanktop, and no make-up....the all natural look.

That's what I wore to the audition today! Trying to assure them that I really do where stuff like that.

Then they asked me if I danced?

And I said Yes, I'm a dancer!

And they said Perfect, thank you so much.

Smiling an enormous smile, I said thank you and walked out. As soon as I walked out of the room, I took a huge deep breath, grabbed my backpack, and went to change my clothes.

On to the subway all the way up to Washington Heights for my voice lesson. My lesson was amazing too. Worked on some really great material. (ok, now I am getting super tired so I'm going to wrap it up quickly!) I got back on the subway, went all the way back down to Chelsea.....met up with Foote and Justin and two of his friends Vince, and Joe, and saw Bat Boy, for the second time. Such a great show. Have you noticed I haven't said anything about food since 9:00 am.....right.....starving by this point! After the show....we went to McDonald's....had some fries....and then back on the subway to Astoria. Cut to now, sitting in the dark, icing my calf......and now, off to bed!

By the way, thank you, Derek, for putting my stortrooper up! It looks great. And thanks to all that were sending good vibes today. I truly felt them.

* 9:51 PM

Wednesday, June 13, 2001

Man, DJ worked me tonight! She put these boot like things on my feet....but the bottoms were moon shaped so you could roll forward on to pointe and then roll all the way through your feet so the weight was entirely on your heels. OH MY GOSH!! Then she had me doing plei's on pointe! OUCH.....but then she gave me a painful/good foot massage. It was crazy. Well, by 9:00 I was so hungry.....so, on my way home, I picked up some KFC! How white trash is that? *hee hee*

And here I am, listening to Songs For a New World (an incredible musical), putting together my sheet music and pictures and resume's for tomorrow, and watching the Laker game! They are kicking ASS! Shaq is doing so well. He has really worked on his free throws. Poor thing though....he's so huge, he's always elbowing people and getting fouled!

I love the basketball commercials where they are doing cool shit with the basketball in amazing rhythms! I keep thinking of tap combinations with the same rhythms.....and the next thing you know, I am up and tap dancing around my house....pretending I am Savion Glover. Inspiration sometimes hits you in the strangest forms!

Off to sleep- audition tomorrow......think good singing thoughts! I'm planning on kicking some major bootie!
* 8:08 PM

Tonight, I have a Gyrotonics appointment with DJ. She is going to kick my ass. Gyrotonics is a lot like pilates....working on machines....getting really sore in places you never thought you'd ever be sore! DJ always works me out really hard....I'm sure I'l be totally centered tomorrow though. Gyrotonics really helps you put things in alignment!

Won't be at work tomorrrow...I've got my audition for Mamma Mia. Send good vibes if you can! My Mom says she has a feeling about this one....you just never know. I've had good feelings about lots of my auditions. Oddly enough, it's usually the ones that I don't have great feelings about that I get called back for. This business is so wacky. After my audition, I have a voice lesson up in Washington Heights. Then, dinner plans with Justin, a friend from college....visiting NYC from San Francisco. Should be interesting. I haven't seen him for almost 4 years. Funny story.....he ran into my friend Derek Isetti in San Francisco. Derek was there doing Cabaret......anyhoo- got my number and there you go...dinner, tomorrow night.

Long day....looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow. Thank you, James, for shaking my cranky mood today!
* 2:51 PM

Had Chinese food for lunch today.....wanna know what my fortune cookie said?
It said:

Somebody admires your strength.

not bad, eh?
* 11:42 AM

Just got a call from my *!X%$#!! landlady. Apparently she is leaving NOW to go to her daughter's until Sunday!! Who wants to have a party? ME ME ME!! Oh, I am so excited....I think I'll have my yard sale on Saturday! She's been giving me grief all week about having a yard sale. She was complaining that it will look bad in front of the house and she doesn't want to be embarrassed. WHAT? That makes no sense to me. I was going to do it next weekend, but since she is gone this weekend......hmmmmmm.... I'll have to think about it.
* 11:41 AM

Happy 5th Birthday, Jezebel, you big girl!
* 9:51 AM

Can you believe, Fray Day is going global? How cool is that? It's already scheduled to take place in 10 cities! I'll probably be in rehearsals for the new show I'm doing in LA so I won't be able to make it up to San Francisco....but it looks like there will be one taking place in Los Angeles! AWESOME- I'll be there....will you?
* 8:46 AM

By the way, for any of you living here in New York...I am selling a bunch of my stuff before I leave. If you or anyone you know of is looking for.....
- a 6 drawer upright dresser (wood and silver)
- a matching wood and silver 5 level bookshelf
- a black and tan IKEA rug
- a wood desk (medium size)
- a navy blue desk chair (with wheels and rotating seat)
....please EMAIL ME!. :)
* 6:42 AM

going to get some coffee......
* 5:51 AM

At work, bright and early. Guess who was asleep by 9:45 last night? That's right, yours truly! I was so exhausted. I left here, got on the subway, got a frozen yogurt cone (which was my dinner), went home, worked on my song for my audition tomorrow, showered, and got in bed! What an exciting night! I was pooped. These 11 hour days are killing me. I keep reminding myself.... this money will help me move and get settled......but for right now, it sucks!
* 5:35 AM

Tuesday, June 12, 2001

I'm going home.....no plans for tonight....just getting ready for my audition on Thursday.
* 3:19 PM

Thank goodness- my template is back! I am so happy. I am going to try to post my stortrooper....it is SO COOL!!!
* 3:07 PM

I found a new friend....look at the June 11, 2001 entry. I made her weblogs list too! That gives me the special bug! Shoot- I need to start my favorite blogs section. As soon as blogger lets me make changes to my template, I will do that! Thanks again, Michele.
* 1:36 PM

My friend Jeffrey and I were talking the other day about the word astigma. It was late at night....we had been at a bar...you know... So, I was telling him how I never knew the word really started with an "a". I thought people always said "I have a stigmatism". Who knew? Yes, I am a college graduate.....I was just having a weak moment! So we started singing....


soooooo funny.......
* 12:44 PM

I'm having a frustrating day! Grrrrr......thank goodness it is almost over. Only 3 hours more. Anyone have MSN messenger? I'm bored out of my mind....I'm jennyanydot if anyone wants to chat!
* 12:01 PM

Looks like other people are having the same problem with their template as I am....will sit tight. Hopefully blogger will fix the problem soon. Thanks for the info, Derek.
* 10:16 AM

Man, something is screwy with my template......I keep getting a script error....and my template is GONE! Derek, are you around? Please help!!
* 8:37 AM

19 more days left in New York......7 days of work left.....
* 6:53 AM

Monday, June 11, 2001

Finally leaving work in 10 minutes.....can you believe I've been here for 11 hours today? UGH.....
* 3:47 PM

I really like what this site says about the Timothy McVeigh execution.
* 3:25 PM

Amen sister! Wow, I feel so empowered after reading your June 10 journal entry. Thank you for sharing that and thank you for stirring up my fire inside!
* 3:18 PM

By the way, if you have aol and want to instant message me, I am jpowazek!
* 2:23 PM

I realized something this weekend. It's kind of huge and profound.....and hard to describe but I will try my hardest to explain it.

I've always been the type of person that wants to be liked by everyone.....the type that changes her outfit 5 times before leaving the house. I went through High School thinking that everyone liked me. How naive! I thought that there was no reason for anyone to dislike me....I had friends in all of the different crowds. I hung out with the "parkees" - the ones who hung out in the park, had lots of piercings, tatoos, and smoked, I hung out with the theatre crowd, the "in-crowd", the Mormons/choir group, the AP smart kids, the hippies and the jocks. I really didn't have a best friend in High School. My best friend, Tali, went to Upland High, our rival school! So, I just went from group to group....socializing....floating.

To this day, I still get caught up in the whole body image issue. In the theatre business, we are constantly being judged....she's too fat, she's too short, she's too Jewish looking, she's too young, etc. I've often tried to change my look, dress differently, lose weight, look taller, smell better, WHATEVER.....anything to be more appealing.

This is where the realization comes in. Sunday morning, I got up, did my pilates video and worked out, took a shower, and got ready. I had plans to meet my friend Jeff for lunch. I wore a pair of blue GAP shorts and a white tank top with black flipflops. Before I left my house, I looked in my full length mirror.

Hmmmmm.....I look pretty good,

I thought.

I walked out the door feeling confident and energized. Over at Jeff's house, I had to sit around and wait for him to get his stuff together. He's never ready on time. As I was waiting, I looked in his full length mirror.

Damn, I look like a cow,

I thought.

I know nothing really changed in the 8 blocks from my house to his house....

And then it hit me......the mirrors represented people and their opinions. Everyone has their own ideas of what they consider to be beautiful. These ideas are NOT universal. Some people love light skinned women....some people love dark skinned women. Some people consider leggy blondes to be beautiful and some people love the short, cute brunettes (like ME). Sometimes, I think I work too hard to be liked by everyone and it is SO not worth it. It's better to just be me rather than try to be something that I'm not....and won't ever be. I've always wanted to be 5'5"....well, guess what....I'm 5'1" and no matter how hard I wish, I won't ever be an inch more.....unless I've got my heels on!

But those mirrors made me think deeply about my image and how I see myself......and the fact that I often think more about what others will think of me rather than how I feel about me. As long as I am happy and confident with how I look....that should be all that matters. I have no control over how others view me. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and everyone has a different idea of what is beautiful. There isn't a right or wrong way to be. It's hard at times because we look at magazines or movie stars and convince ourselves that that is what's beautiful.....but again, not everyone thinks Angelina Jolie is beautiful, or Sarah Michelle Gellar.

I guess that is my point.......you can't expect everyone to view you the way you view yourself. What is beautiful to some may not be beautiful in the eyes of another.
* 12:59 PM

Heather, I'm goin cowboy today....and boy, it feels great! *hee hee hee*
* 12:49 PM

Pretty slow day today here at Merrill Lynch. My mind has been crowded with thoughts of Timothy McVeigh. I just don't know how I feel about it. I know that I didn't sleep well last night because he was all over the news before I went to bed. And I was disturbed hearing about it first thing this morning.

I really go back and forth with how I feel about the death penalty. It's so hard to tell until you are in a certain situation. What I mean by that is....if members of my family or friends of mine were in the Oklahoma City bombing, I think I'd feel differently about Timothy McVeigh. I have really strong feelings on both sides of the argument. Part of me agrees with An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.....you kill 168 people, you deserve to die. The other part of me thinks that killing, in any sense, is wrong.....unless it's in self-defense. I would like to think that therapy and medication could be beneficial to all people.. yet I know that some people are just unreachable. Also, I think that serving time behind bars is probably HELL and some of the people that have committed these crimes should spend the rest of their lives there! Death is kind of a way out. And I can't help but think that killing Timothy McVeigh was exactly what he wanted. He was a sick and disturbed man and did NOT feel badly or regret what he did. He needed to be put away....I'm just not sure he needed to be permanently put away.......I just don't know where I sit with this whole thing. I felt sorry for him.....and I feel sorry for all of the families that he destroyed.
* 12:39 PM

Saturday, June 09, 2001

I am having a I hate New York day. Everything is pissing me off. On my way to my voice lesson this morning, I was pushed and shoved by a billion people. Then, I had subway trauma. To get to my voice lesson in Washington Heights, I have to take the N train from Astoria to 42nd Street and then transfer to the A train. Well, I was about 15 minutes early because I knew I had to stop at the store and get cash. As I was walking down the stairs to the A train, the subway was just pulling up. Perfect timing, I thought. SO, I got on the train and all was good so far. Suddenly, in a tunnel, the train stops....the lights turn off....the air turns off....the train has no power. We're just sitting there in the dark. Ok, for all of you that have read my previous blogs, you know that I have had numerous anxiety attacks on the subways before. This was not a good situation for me to be in. I took many deep breaths, kept my music playing on my walkman, and waited patiently. I was sure the train would start up at any moment.

The next thing I know, the conductor comes on the loud speaker and says:

"Ladies and gentleman, I'm sorry for the inconvenience but there is a FIRE on the tracks ahead. The fire department has been contacted and has shut off all power for this line. The situation should be under control and we should be moving in the next few minutes. Thank you for your cooperation."

I looked around the train.....everyone was sitting very still....some people kept talking. I spotted the nearest window just in case I started to feel light headed. I thought it would be a good idea for me to just turn my music back on and close my eyes, breathe deeply, and picture myself at the beach....lying on the sand. That's what I've always done when I start to freak out. I looked at my watch.....it had been five minutes already and we still weren't moving....nor was the air back on. I was proud of myself for surviving that long without having to take a pill or anything. I thought to myself I am going to get through this!

After 15 minutes, the lights finally came back on, the air started blowing, and the conductor came back over the loud speaker saying we would be moving shortly. Apparently, all of the trains were backed up and we had to wait for them all to move. The train continued to stop and start through every dark tunnel all the way up to 181st Street. By the time I got off of the train, I was already 5 minutes late. I ran to my voice teacher's house and he was just finishing with the student before me. Thank goodness. When I walked in, he just looked at me, and I said I can't wait to get out of New York!
* 2:17 PM

Friday, June 08, 2001

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DICK! Have a wonderful day!
* 2:16 PM

Oh.... add #5 to my list of things I want to do this weekend......

5. I want to see that musical Urinetown. It sounds so bizarre.....but Bat Boy was bizarre too and I loved it! In fact, I am hoping to see it again before I leave.
* 1:21 PM

Tonight- meeting DJ for dinner at my place, and then showing my furniture to an interested buyer. I posted signs all over Ditmars of the things I'm selling. I got a call today from a woman who is interested in buying my dresser and desk. OH YEAH...bring on the money! I better get home in time to clean. *hee hee hee*
* 1:15 PM

Jon's show, Saturday Night, opens in Boston tonight at the Speakeasy Theatre! If you are in Boston....go see him and tell him I sent you! BREAK A LEG TONIGHT!!
* 12:25 PM

Found a fellow blogger buddy here in New York. Check out his site.....very cool! I need to put together a link to my favorite sites. Hmmmmm...another project for this weekend.
* 10:59 AM

It is going to be a beautiful weekend here in New York! Looks like it will be in the low 80's and not too humid. Days like this, I don't mind living here. There are so many things I want to do this weekend.....

1. I want to see Moulin Rouge and The Anniversary Party. Both of those look amazing.
2. I want to lay out in Central Park. I am so white right now, I am practically glowing and I just got a new bikini!
3. I want to get the new Radiohead cd and the new Blink 182 cd. I've heard great things about both!
4. I want to pack up some more boxes. I figure if I pack a box or two every couple of days, I won't be rushed my last week here!

I guess that's enough for one weekend! I have a voice lesson on Saturday too. I'm getting ready for an audition I have next week. It's for Mamma Mia, the new ABBA musical coming to Broadway. That's right ladies and gentleman, all of the songs in the show are old ABBA hits....including Dancing Queen! I'm singing Thank You for the Music for the audition.....just got the sheet music last week. I don't know.... I wonder if it'll be a cheesy musical like Saturday Night Fever. I hope not. Broadway is turning into a big piece of ASS in my humble opinion. Even though I am already planning on moving to LA, I'm still going to audition. You just never know.....
* 10:43 AM

Yick.....someone had stinky fish in the mail room (which conveniently is where the microwave is).....and I'm not talking about tuna. Tuna is not a stinky fish. What is a stinky fish? I don't know...but the whole hall here on the 12th floor reaks of stinky fish!!
* 10:21 AM

Listening to the Dixie Chicks, loudly, on my walkman, on the subway, on my way to work, at 7:45 in the morning, ROCKS!!
* 5:50 AM

Thursday, June 07, 2001

15 minutes left......24 days left in New York!! The countdown begins....
* 2:18 PM

Only one more hour left!! Thank goodness.
* 1:28 PM

This day is dragging on and on and on and on....it's a beautiful day outside right now. I just want to take a blanket and go to sleep out there. I can't believe I have another four hours here. Ugh....hopefully they'll go by quickly.
* 11:11 AM

Wednesday, June 06, 2001

Tonight, a hot bath and SLEEP! Can't wait..... I did my entire pilates video last night and then slept funny so my body is all kinked up! A hot bath is sounding better and better as the day goes on. Hopefully I'll get out of here at a reasonable hour.
* 1:54 PM

Looks like Patrick Wilson, the lead in The Full Monty, has the same ideas as I do....

"I'm starting to get to the point where I don't just want to live in a teeny little apartment and walk three blocks to the show every night," he said. "That's not really me. You grow up in St. Pete with cars and sun, and, you know, I want a house and a dog."

"You can be living in L.A. but in an area that looks like Brightwater (Boulevard on Snell Isle) or Old Northeast. It's very suburban. That really appeals to me. That appeals to my life, to my heart."

He would rather be in California. "What's the worst case? Sure, I would struggle in L.A., I know I would, but I'd enjoy myself. Play golf, go to the beach, be happy. And I'd get a job. There are a lot of great parts out there."

I TOTALLY agree!
* 9:36 AM

This weekend, 3 Broadway shows are closing - Jane Eyre, Bells Are Ringing, and A Class Act. Rumor has it Follies will be closing soon too. Seussical and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer just closed last month. Do you know how many actors are out of work these days? And you wonder why I have to get in line at 5:30 in the morning just to get an audition appointment! It's a sad time for Broadway.....I'm so glad to be moving to LA.
* 7:36 AM

Ok, it's time to get rid of the Bush daughters poll. The results were as follows:

Do you care if the Bush girls are drinking alcohol?
Yes - 2% - 1 voter
Who cares - 45% - 16 voters
Didn't we all drink at 19? - 40% - 14 voters
It's not the public's business - 11% - 4 voters
I want to know all of the scoop - 0% - 0 voters

It was close but it looks like "WHO CARES" won the poll! I figured....that was my vote!
* 7:04 AM

Tuesday, June 05, 2001

Happy Birthday, Becca! What are you, eight now? You are such a big girl. I heard you were amazing in Pinnochio and you sang so beautifully. I am so proud of you, my little cousin. I can't wait to see you when I am back in LA. I hope you had a wonderful day!
* 7:46 PM

Long day....finally going home!
* 3:31 PM

Just had an hour long talk with my Dad. It was so good to hear his voice. We caught up about a lot of stuff.....probably will catch up more when I'm home over a pitcher of beer! I'm glad everyone is home safely.
* 12:40 PM

I just checked out BWG's site. He had a link to another personality test! Hee hee hee....beware! Find your inner rock star. It said my inner rock star was Brittany Spears! AAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Jenn, your inner rock star is Britney Spears

Feel it, sweetheart; the rock star in you is all Britney—the envy of cheerleaders everywhere. One part girl next door, one part naughty sex kitten, you're definitely not as innocent as you look. And that is why nobody can get enough of you. You are the ultimate American girl with some serious staying power. Unlike other success stories, you and Britney are more than just a pretty face: you've got talent, confidence, and the brains to back it up. With a talent list like yours it's no wonder you're at the top of the popularity charts and young men's hearts. We love you. Shout out your inner Britney!
* 7:11 AM

Good news....I got a call from Derek. He was at JFK for a brief layover from Poland to San Francisco. I'm glad they are back in the states safely. I can't wait to hear all of the stories.
* 7:05 AM

Good morning! Actually, it is not a good morning. My allergies are driving me nutty. I couldn't breathe last night at all so I took a Benadryl around 10:45. That stuff knocks me out! When my alarm went off at 6:00 this morning, I hit the snooze button until 7:00 and then finally dragged my ass out of bed and into the shower. Ugh.....I got dressed so quickly, I don't even know what I'm wearing. Ok, I just looked.....this is so NOT ok for work. I am wearing red capri's, a white shirt, and a denim button-down, short-sleeved shirt with my FLIP FLOPS. Wow, I look so patriotic! What a dork....my head is definitely not on straight this morning. I hope they don't send me home for how inappropriately dressed I am! Eeeeekkk....at least if I'm sent home I could go back to sleep!
* 6:56 AM

Monday, June 04, 2001

Off to have dinner with Tiffany and pick up sheet music for my next audition, Mamma Mia!
* 2:23 PM

"You betta kick ass and take names!" - Tami's quote for the day! She also gave me a favorite word of the day....it is occilococcinum. It is pronounced ox-sill-a-cocks-in-em. hee hee hee! It is a homeopathic thing you take to prevent the flu. Either way....it's fun to say.
* 11:07 AM

Very excited...my family is flying back from Poland today. Think good flying thoughts for them!!
* 9:28 AM

Did y'all see Kate and Tiffany on the Tony's. Kate Levering is the lead, Peggy Sawyer, in 42nd Street and was nominated for Best Featured Actress in a Musical. In the opening number, she was in the blue dress....what a beautiful dancer she is! Kate didn't win....but they both looked absolutely gorgeous! I giggled everytime I saw them! I can't wait to hear the stories about the after Tony's Gala!! I bet they had a blast. I am going to meet Tiffany and Kate tonight for dinner or drinks.....should be fun! I can't believe the Producers won everything! I'm sure it is a great show but The Full Monty should have won some awards too. It is an amazing show!
* 8:54 AM

Just got to work. My audtion went really well! I was a bit worried because my allergies have been absolutely out of control. I've been sneezing, had the itchy throat and watery eyes, and major dripage down my throat. YUCK~ But, I woke up early, really warmed up my voice, got dressed and got to the subway ON TIME!! How about that? I got to the studio early....had some time to focus, drink some water, and change into my short skwirt....you know, those things that are shorts in the back and a skirt in the front. I usually don't wear it out because it's pretty short. It covers everything of course, it's just mid-thigh. So, I wore pants there and then changed. Anyhoo- I sang I Cain't Say No....which is Ado Annie's song. It was brilliant....if I must say so myself. I rarely toot my own horn, but, I felt great about it...vocally and acting-wise. My voice teacher coached me on the acting part on Saturday... so, I felt solid about it. The casting director seemed really pleased. He gave me sides to read. It was a scene between Laurey and Ado Annie, the one right before the song. It went well- I think they liked me....but who knows....you never really know what they are looking for.

After the audition, I was going to change back into my pants, but I wanted to get to work as soon as possible, so I just left. BIG MISTAKE! I had three people comment to me. One guy in passing, said, "Yeah, you are HOT". Another said, "Nice legs, honey". And the third guy said something in Spanish that I didn't understand and punctuated the end of the phrase with a grunt. Lovely, huh? I am totally not making this up! I cannot WAIT to move to LA. Grrrrrr.....as soon as I got to work, I changed into my pants! *smile*
* 8:49 AM

Friday, June 01, 2001

Off to therapy.......
* 12:57 PM

It looks like "who cares" is winning in my Bush Daughters poll!
* 10:05 AM

At work.....feel shitty.....throat hurts....glands swollen....eyes itchy. Can't tell if I'm getting sick or just having a big ole allergy problem. Grrrrr....not good timing. I have a voice lesson tomorrow and the audition for Oklahoma on Monday. I am going to be so angry if I lose my voice. No more talking today.....drinking hot tea....France suggested taking a spoonful of olive oil! That sounds just about GROSS! But if it works....I may just have to try it. We'll see how I feel tomorrow. Thank you for the suggestion!
* 8:31 AM

* 6:01 AM